


Holding On

by mx_keith_kogane



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canigetafuckinuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, M/M, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 00:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14320767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mx_keith_kogane/pseuds/mx_keith_kogane
Summary: Just another crappy basic Keith/Lance fic. Keith has trouble letting people in. Lance just wants to repair his relationship with Keith. When they run into each other at an ungodly hour they find themselves enjoying each other's company more than expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look I am absolutely hopeless when it comes to writing but this is really more for me than anyone else so just be warned updates will probably be completely inconsistent but I do promise that even if it kills me I'll finish the fic somehow and not just abandon it. Anyways this is my very first attempt at writing so uh have fun? Idk. Additionally, I will probably misuse semicolons more times than you can count so; if you; can't deal with it; you should probably; put this down.

"... Ugh."

Keith Kogane had once again found himself wandering the all too familiar halls of the castle far after what they considered "nightfall". 

 _"Is_   _this even considered nightfall? We're out in space for god's sake._ _"_

The young paladin sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that night. Like every other day this week, Keith had spent hours staring up at the same bleak ceiling he had seen every single morning and night since he had first become a paladin. As he stared, his mind stirred with unsavory thoughts that try as he might he just couldn't shake off. His feelings of worthlessness and isolation were getting to him a lot recently; something he blamed himself for, of course. 

Keith felt a shiver travel from his head to his feet, noticing not for the first time that the castle got much colder whenever it turned to its false night. 

Keith walked along the familiar route to the common area, hoping the change of scenery would help ease his mind. A distraction would be good for him, he thought. 

He let his feet lead him his destination without much thought. When he finally got out of his head enough to look forwards, he was surprised to see a light coming from the doorway to the common room. He wondered, then, if someone had simply forgotten to shut off the lights. Well, there shouldn't be anyone else up at this hour... right?

He slowed his pace at a constant rate until he stood still just to the right of the doorway, peeking into the room. He was surprised, to say the least, when he spotted his so called "arch-rival" already sprawled across the couch, tablet settled comfortably in his lap. 

"Lance?"

。。。

 

Lance groaned, tossing from right side to left then back again. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he missed his home. He wasn't coping well with the absence of his family in his life. Even in the Garrison, he had always been able to rely on his family. He wasn't prepared for such a sudden cut off from his home. He had left his entire life behind on that rock. 

Suddenly, Lance threw off his covers and planted his feet on the ground. He needed a change of pace. Staying in his room and wallowing in his home-sickness and self-pity wasn't going to help him or anyone else for that matter. He grabbed his tablet and set out for the common area. 

 _"Since when did the castle get so cold?"_ Lance thought to himself, wishing he'd grabbed his blanket before setting off. He quickened his pace and tried to keep his mind from wandering off as he ventured to the room. As soon as he came to a stop, he threw himself onto the couch, curling up and setting the tablet on his lap.

He felt better here; getting out of that room helped clean his head. He smiled, relaxing in the fragile peace and quiet of nighttime in the castle; something never seen in the daytime. It was weird to see the castle in such an undisturbed condition. When the paladins got up, there wasn't a moment of silence until nightfall. There was always something going on, some task that had to be done or some emergency going on (probably caused by Pidge). 

Lance settled in and started playing some game he knew he'd probably obsess over nonstop for three days then delete forever on the tablet he'd brought with him, when the calm was suddenly broken not three minutes after he'd sat down when he heard someone say his name. 

"Lance?"

 

。。。

 

_"Lance?"_

Lance was surprised to see Keith, of all people, standing in the doorway to the common room. 

"What are  _you_  doing here?" Lance questioned, in a snarkier manner than he had previously intended. 

Keith let out a huff and said simply "Couldn't sleep."

Keith threw himself into a chair opposite the room from Lance, and Lance couldn't help but feel a little hurt by the large distance Keith had put between them. 

"Fine then," he muttered, "be that way."

A long silence followed the small interaction, suddenly a lot heavier than before. Neither boy would leave nor say anything to the other. Finally, Lance decided to once again break the silence. 

"... So, why couldn't you sleep?"

Keith turned away before muttering out a classic "N-none of your business." 

Keith immediately started berating himself in his mind. 

_"Stammering? Seriously?"_

Lance narrowed his eyes, noticing the prominent stammer in his statement. He saw Keith looking as far away from him and he could. There was definitely something to that, but Lance didn't really wanna pry. Especially considering the statement he stammered on was "None of your business."

Lance gave him another moment or two before asking "So, uh, do you come here often?" Then, suddenly realizing how it sounded, he scrambled to fix it. 

"I mean! Not in, uh, a pickup line way I mean inadoyouhavetroublesleepingandcomedownhereoftenway."

Keith just rolled his eyes in response and said "I've come down here a few times before... Sleeping has never really come easy to me."

He paused, before continuing "My thoughts have been keeping me up more and more recently. I just... Stare at my ceiling for hours, trying to ignore the things my own head is screaming at me. It just keeps getting worse and worse, and I don't really know what to do about it. I just thought getting out of that... that room might help."

Lance just stared for a second, still processing what Keith had just said. The red paladin seemed just as shocked by his little sharing session, pausing a long moment before hurriedly standing up and starting to walk out. 

"Wait a second!" Lance said.

Keith's steps paused for a moment, waiting for questions about what kind of thoughts, which is something Keith certainly did not want to talk about, or maybe a comment making fun of him. He certainly did not expect him to say "Well... Look, I don't know what kind of thoughts are keeping you up but... If you ever wanna talk about them, I guess I'm here? I mean, just, if they ever get too bad or if you just wanna share or something. I don't know... Uh... Sorry..." 

Keith just stood there for a second, trying to understand what Lance had just said. 

_"Was he just... Offering to help?"_

Keith didn't let himself dwell on it before he resumed his exit and returned to the room he's found himself dreading to enter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys feels free to comment your thoughts good or bad including technical errors. This chapter was actually supposed to be two chapters but they were so short I combined them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith feels a bit bad about leaving right after Lance offered to listen and ends up at the same place the next night

Keith had found himself in the same hallway leading to the common area again. He felt a bit silly, not even knowing if Lance was going to be there. After he'd left Lance alone he started feeling guilty dropping a bomb like that then leaving, even after Lance had offered to help. He hadn't really had a chance to talk to him during the day, so when he found himself awake at the same time of night he took the trip back to the common room before he could second guess himself. 

He could see now the light emanating from the entrance. Feeling reassured, he sped up his pace and tried not to over think it. He was just going to apologize, then leave. That's all. 

When Keith finally reached the doorway, he saw Lance in the same position as before, sprawled out on the couch. 

"Ah... Hey."

"Oh! You're here!"

Lance sat up, shifting his gaze from the tablet on his lap to the boy standing awkwardly in the entryway. 

"Uh, yeah... " Keith's gaze moved from place to place, before settling on Lance. 

"So, uh, I just wanted to apologize for before. I didn't really... I didn't mean to dump that on you and leave. Especially after you offered to listen... So, just, sorry. And thanks. For the offer."

By the end of it, Keith could tell his face was probably glowing red like a traffic light. He wasn't used to apologizing to people, or really used to talking to people at all. He stood there, shifting his weight and waiting for a response from Lance. 

Lance sat there shocked for a moment. 

_"He just... Apologized? To me?"_

Lance wasn't exactly prepared for a genuine apology from his nemesis. 

"Oh... Oh! Well, uh, don't worry about it, guy. I didn't really think it was a big deal anyways. And the offer still stands, by the way. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always around."

If possible, Keith turned even redder than before. 

"Yeah, thanks. I'll... I'll think about it."

Keith didn't plan on ever taking Lance up on his offer, but it was nice to have the option. It was also nice to know that Lance cared enough to offer. 

Keith was shaken back from his thoughts when Lance asked "So, did I ever tell you about the one chick back on earth who punched me in the face  _while_ I was driving her ass back to her house?"

Keith snorted. Now this he had to hear. 

The two paladins filled the space between them with surprisingly casual banter, going on for what seemed like minutes but quickly turned out to be hours. Keith felt more relaxed than he had in a while, staggered by how easily he and Lance interacted when they weren't competing or arguing about some insignificant little problem.

When Lance felt himself starting to nod off, he and Keith went their respective routes back to their rooms. Maybe it was their imagination, but they both seemed to sleep better that night.

 。。。

The next day at training, Keith sent Lance a small smile before going in. Lance felt shaken to his core. His heart swelled when he realized that maybe, just maybe, he might be friends with Keith. He felt as if they had gotten quite a bit closer last night, sharing pointless stories and exchanging easy conversation without arguing over something, miraculously. 

Lance grinned before charging in himself. This was definitely going to be a good day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's shorter. I'll probably go back and edit this one later. Also, Lance's girl-punching-the-person-currently-driving-her-home story is true she was my ex at the time. I ran into her at a party and she was too drunk to drive herself and I knew where she lived so I drove her home. I didn't actually say anything before she punched me in the face and broke my glasses as I was driving. Fun times


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another late night encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since I'm really busy with, ya know, school and extracurriculars and keeping up with all my other hobbies during the weekdays I'll probably be updating on weekends or on weekdays when I feel like it

It had been about a week since Keith had his last encounter with Lance in the common room at night. Despite himself, he really missed it. He had felt more comfortable than he had in a long time with Lance, talking about whatever popped into their heads, laughing at nothing, just... Being there together. Keith pushed all this aside during the week. He didn't really feel like getting close to another person just to lose someone else.

Then he found himself staring at the same old ceiling, letting an odd feeling build up inside himself until it felt like he would explode, when he suddenly jerked himself out of bed and out of his mind. His felt like he couldn't feel normal in his room anymore. He had had too many weird emotions or thoughts or whatever else his messed up mind threw at him in that room. It held a... Weird atmosphere now. He had started to hate it, and he often found himself just standing outside the door, trying to force himself inside. Snapping back into reality, he rushed outside, not able to stand another minute in there. 

Keith stood outside his room, trying to think of what he could do now. He didn't want to sit outside his room, and he sure as hell didn't want to go back inside. He had reached his limit. He needed a change of pace. He had said he wouldn't go back to the common room, but... Maybe he would just check and see if Lance was there. He wouldn't go in, he'd just... Check. 

He crept through the hallways to the common room, trying to be as quiet as possible. He approached cautiously, silent as a mouse. He slowly peeked inside. 

" _Wait... shit."_

If Lance was in the same position on the couch as before, he wouldn't be able to see over the back of the couch from here. He could either go in and see, or try and get a look from the doorway. Keith chose to try and catch a glimpse from the door first. 

He knew he wasn't tall enough, but he stood on his tiptoes, trying his best to get the angle right. He was... Almost... There... And then he fell with a loud  _crash_. 

"What the-- Keith?"

Well, at least he'd gotten his answer. Keith felt like he hadn't ever been more embarrassed in his life. He sat up, rubbing his arms, which had taken most of the impact from the fall. 

"I was just, uh-- and I, well-- I was just trying to-- and I fell and-- I wasn't trying to spy I just-- "

Keith peeked up through his bangs, afraid of seeing an angry look on Lances face, or a mocking expression. Instead, he just saw a very concerned looking Lance, holding out his hand. 

"Are you okay?"

Keith blinked, stunned for a second, before coming to his senses. "What-- Oh! Right. The fall. I'm uh, I'm fine."

Keith took the outstretched hand and got to his feet. 

"Are you sure? That sounded pretty painful."

"Uh, nah, I'm fine. Uh, sorry." 

Lance looked confused. "For... What?"

"For, uh... For disturbing you and whatnot."

"Oh. It's alright. Why are you up?"

Keith paused, and Lance realized what he'd said. 

"I mean, you don't have to say if you don't want to I was just, uh, just asking."

"It's alright. I just uh... I can't really stand to be in my room right now? I don't know why, I just... Hate it."

Lance was surprised not only that Keith had been staying in the same room he had hated for all this time, but that he had actually told Lance how he felt. Then, Lance had an idea. 

"I mean, if you hate it that much you can just stay in my room for a while."

"... What?"

"Well I mean, it just seemed like the room thing was really bothering you and you just seem like you really need some sleep so you can stay in my room when you feel like this if you want." 

Lance tried to push away his embarrassment to stay strong on his offer. If he showed hesitation, Keith probably wouldn't take him up on him offer. QKeith could not have been more blindsided. He had said before that he didn't want to get close to anyone else, but... Lance was offering. And Keith knew he wouldn't be able to sleep in his own room that night. 

"Uh... Sure. If that's okay with you."

Lance beamed, just glad to actually be able to do something to help. 

"It's no problem! I'll just grab my tablet and we'll go!" 

They walked to Lance's room in silence, and as Keith finally caught up on what had happened, he started berating himself. 

" _This is the exact opposite of what you wanted. How did you let this happen? You can't stay in his room. This is your problem, why are you dragging Lance into this?"_

Well, it's not like Keith could do anything now. He couldn't just suddenly change his mind, not after Lance had seemed so happy to be of help. 

They reached Lance's room in no time. Lance quickly opened the door and welcomed Keith in. The first thing Keith noticed was the mess. The next thing he noticed was the desk, not an inch left uncovered by papers or books. Before Keith knew it, he had crossed the room to see what exactly all the papers could be for. He saw some of Lance's handwriting scrawled across them, some writing and some math equations. He wondered what they all were for, but he didn't want to disturb them or move anything out of place. 

Keith turned back to see Lance already crawling into bed. Keith froze, suddenly realizing he wasn't sure what to do in this situation. He hadn't really ever slept in someone else's room. What did people do when they slept in other people's rooms? Did they just share the bed? Maybe someone slept on the floor? Keith was panicking inside, but he felt like Lance would think he was a loser if he knew that Keith hadn't ever had friends close enough to had sleepovers with. That'd just show that he had no idea what to do in this type of situation. 

Keith was startled out of his train of thought when Lance asked simply "Could you turn out the light?"

Keith looked around, searching for the light switch. He quickly switched it off, and realized at that point it would be weird to just stand there. He'd have to make a decision quick. Did people sleep on the floor or the bed? Floor or bed? Floor or bed? Keith made a split second decision and cautiously crawled into Lance's bed beside him.

。。。

Lance's face turned bright red as he realized he hadn't actually thought about where Keith would sleep. Lance would've slept on the floor, but he hadn't even thought about it before climbing into bed. He hadn't gotten Keith a blanket or pillow, so he shouldn't have been surprised when he felt another weight join him on the bed, shy as a kitten. Lance knew Keith probably hadn't had any sleepover experience, and he should've been specific. 

He heard Keith speak up behind him. "Uh... Is this okay? I didn't, uh, I just thought--'

Lance knew that if Keith found out that this wasn't what people typically did at sleepovers, he'd be way too embarrassed, and may not come back when he couldn't stand his room anymore. 

"Huh? Yeah, it's fine, why wouldn't it be? Haha..."

" _... That sounded less awkward in my head."_

Despite Lance's odd tone, Keith seemed to buy it. 

"Oh, I was just, I mean, I was just making sure I guess."

After that came silence. They both seemed fine with going to sleep before any further conversation. Lance felt warmth radiating from the boy behind him, and felt more sleepy than he had been in a long time. He drifted off to sleep listening to the soft breathing he could almost feel behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys wanna correct anything technical or not or you just wanna leave your opinion good or bad leave a comment. Also, I wanna thank anyone reading this. I know it's not the most well written fiction out there but I'm glad some of you are enjoying it anyways


End file.
